I always thought that having a second baby or even a third is much easier than the first, mainly because I’d know what to expect (though I wondered how I would juggle two babies when some days I feel I can barely manage one). But deciding to expand our family was a very easy decision for me. People will say (and have said) I’m crazy but when my first born turned just 3 months old I knew I wanted another and so we started trying.
I’m now 25 weeks pregnant and my daughter has just turned 10 months old and I’ll be honest – I’m freaking out! My mind is constantly going 100 miles an hour with all the questions and worries I have about being a mum of two; so here’s what to consider when having a second baby (before making one!)
when is the right time to have a second baby?
In my book, there will never be a good or right time to do anything so do it anyway, as soon as possible! Regardless of when baby number two joins your family, it's going to be crazy, messy, and above all else, incredible.
So do want your children to be each other’s playmates? Would you like to tackle the nappies days and sleepless nights sooner rather than later? If yes, you’re probably ready to get a jump on making your second baby!
Or would you prefer to enjoy each child’s ‘little stage’ without distractions? Maybe you just want one toddler at a time! One teenager at a time! If yes, you probably need to wait a bit longer before you start prepping for the new arrival.
Of course there are other factors to keep in mind as you decide when to have a second baby: finances, child-care, work, and the size of your home… But whichever spacing scenario you choose comes with its highs and lows:
For example, if you’ve got a duo in nappies, they’ll have a great time playing with each other and bonus - you won’t have to hunt for different types of toys or panic that the bigger kid has left out Lego for your newly crawling baby to find! On the flip side though, siblings close in age can be exhausting...two babies in nappies!! £££
Having your children further apart lets you focus on each child individually, but they may be more reluctant playmates - and there’s no guarantee you’ll have fewer arguments. You'll also spend more total years in active parenting - which could be a great or bad thing depending on how you want to spend your future.
will it affect how i feel about my first born?
Quick answer, yes! But in the best way possible! Let me explain. Flashback to pre-pregnant me, I would scoff at people who talked about their fears of loving another child as much as their first; I thought it was ridiculous. Perhaps being the last of four children I didn't want to think that my own parents might have had similar thoughts before I came on the scene. Yet once I was pregnant again (even though fully planned), I found myself terrified.
How could I love another baby as much as my daughter? Will we lose our bond? Will our bond survive another baby? And within minutes of seeing that second pink line I became that mum who put her kid first and soon realised that none of those worries matter - I know my heart won’t split in two when our second baby comes, it’ll double in size and ultimately we will be fine because we have to be fine – what’s the alternative?
I’m going to be a mum of two under two and I’m so thrilled to watch myself gain that title and own it like the badass mama I am – you will too. Whether your babies are a year apart or 10 years apart, your family will be perfect and you’ll never regret adding to the madness!