Finding out I was pregnant. Well, that's a bit of a story. It definitely wasn't something that was in the plan. But when do plans go the way you expect them. My story about getting pregnant goes a little like this...
So the plan was to go to work followed by a nice long weekend with my new fiancé before he started his new job. I never thought I was pregnant and wouldn’t even humour the idea when it came to mind…
I knew for a few days my period was late but brushed it off because, when was it ever on time? But this was very different. I came home from work and started thinking about what to wear to a friend’s 30th birthday party. Theme park, go karting, followed by a pub crawl which ordinarily I’d be super excited about. But the thought of maybe being pregnant just would not leave my mind. I would hate to spend all day strapped to a seat being chucked around at 100 mph and then finding out I was pregnant.
how do i know i'm pregnant?
So to give me some peace of mind I hopped in my car and drove to shop and bought the cheapest pregnancy test I could find. I went straight to the bathroom after chugging an entire bottle of strawberry Yazoo, and read every. single. word. I’m sure peeing on a stick isn’t hard, but I wasn’t about to mess this up. Side note: turns out it is quite difficult. I then, you know... and looked at the test and saw one pink line. I knew it. Not pregnant. Then, slowly, ever so faintly and barely even visibly was the second line.
All FIVE tests over the course of the evening came back either so faint or with just one line which either meant the universe was playing mind games with me. I wasn’t very far along or that these cheap £4.00 tests weren’t as 99.9% accurate as the box said.
no, i can't be pregnant
So (still in somewhat denial) to a different shop. I go to spend more money on a test I was so sure would come back negative. Another side note: standing in line with a pregnancy test in your hand is the most awkward thing ever! Especially as they’re so expensive! They come in their own plastic house the cashier has to remove drawing more attention to the fact I’m a "girl in trouble." I was in tatters and on a mission to get the door before I saw somebody I knew.
Back in the car with a knot in my stomach. My sweaty palms slipping off the steering wheel. With terrifying thoughts that some of those tests technically said I was pregnant. I decided to splash out on a brand I knew. One I could actually pronounce the name of and repeated the process. This test didn’t take long. Straight away there was the one horizontal line then a few seconds later appearing slowly the second vertical line. Making the famous clearblue pregnant plus.
so it looks like i'm pregnant
Amongst all the shock, excitement started to fill my entire body. Like butterflies in my belly but everywhere - even to my fingertips. It wasn’t the result I truly expected or honestly even wanted to see just yet, so why did I feel uncontrollably happy? Maybe it was the thought of being linked to Stephen forever? I don’t know… I’ve never been 100% on wanting my own children. I was always more than happy with the idea of adopting and being step-mum and an aunt to my nieces – so my feeling of excitement at finding out I was pregnant is what shocked me the most.
I was planning on how to surprise my mum and dad with the news and what I should say or do until the doubt set in. How is this possible?! I mean we weren’t not trying to get pregnant but I don’t have any symptoms... Am I seriously pregnant? So I opened the second pregnancy test and I did the whole process again. This time it was a digital test. In big letters pops up the words, not pregnant. Well what the heck?! I was so baffled and after asking Google, I learned that it’s not possible to get a false positive test - however a false negative is possible.
we’re having a baby!
This meant I was pregnant if that little faint line I saw on the first tests really were lines after all. I went downstairs to Stephen and as soon as I walked through the door to the living room he knew instantly something was up. And almost straight away guessed I was pregnant! And almost like it happens in the films, we fell into each other’s arms and I cried. Then we just looked at each other for what felt like a lifetime and were both just in that moment.
So, finding out I was pregnant was one thing... The next chapter together begins with our boys and little 12 week bean.