conception difficulties
and your relationship

Trying for a baby can be one of the most joyous times in a couples life together, the feeling of bringing a little bundle of joy into the world and looking forward to a growing family is one of the most rewarding experiences a couple can go through together. Though, sometimes there can be difficulties in conceiving a baby[1] and these difficulties can, at times, put a strain on your relationship. The most important thing to try and do is stay positive, still look to the future and remember you are not alone. Not every couple conceives first time, so don't put that expectation on yourself, try following our advice when it comes to conceiving a baby and try to stay positive.

Not conceiving first time can be frustrating and continued efforts to try with no joy can begin to place stresses and strains on your relationship. Partners can feel isolated, place blame on themselves and each other which, in turn, can have a negative impact on the relationship. Here we'll try and help you overcome some of those difficult times and give you the best chances to welcome a little one into the world with as little stress as possible.

difficulty getting pregnant

you are not on your own

If you are having difficulty conceiving, blame shouldn't lie at the feet of either of you, this includes blaming yourself. Talk through your difficulties together and where your frustrations lie, and try to take the pressure off yourselves. In a lot of couples, it can take up to a year or more to conceive, so remember, you're not alone on this journey, there are plenty of couples out there going through the same things as you.

Firstly, take things back to basics. Have a some time off from conceiving, allow the pressure to dissipate and relax. Start having sex again with intimacy and love without the pressure of trying for a baby and allow yourselves to come together as a couple again; then after a while begin to bring back the idea for trying for baby. Begin to listen to your body and be conscious of the natural signs your body presents during ovulation; you may also wish to invest in ovulation kits to give you some extra peace of mind.

If again, you don't find yourself conceiving, don't let yourselves fall into difficulties, be proactive and seek guidance from your GP.[2] If the notion of infertility does arise, don't let it weigh on you, be supportive for one another, and seek advice. Infertility is common, affecting one in every seven couples in the UK and increases with age; the older you are when you try to conceive, the more difficult it may be. Again, remember you're not alone and there are avenues for you go down.

what can we do to promote conception?

There are numerous superstitions about promoting fertility, but it is generally agreed that good general health is important. You can look at your diet[3], exercise regimen and lifestyle and see where you may be able to do things differently. Cut down your alcohol intake and if you smoke, quit; alcohol and smoking can significantly affect sperm concentration and motility. Begin cooking healthy meals together, go for walks and enjoy your time together; you can try mindfulness techniques to help take the stresses of everyday life out of the equation and talk to each other and really make that bond between the both of you stronger.

If you are taking any prescribed medication you should speak to your GP as in some instances, drugs like some commonly prescribed antidepressants can affect the ability to conceive.

In combination with looking at your health and lifestyle, using an ovulation calculator to help you find out exactly when you are most fertile each month and ovulation kits can greatly increase your chances of falling pregnant.

how will infertility affect our relationship?

Each relationship is different, but having trouble conceiving, the medical interventions and stress is an emotional roller-coaster that can strain on any relationship. Look what you can do to promote conception, and do everything together.

Many couples find that by trying to overcome the problems of infertility together their relationship has been made stronger[4] and they have been brought closer together. Both partners should try and support each other and neither partner should try to blame the other.

If infertility is detected in one partner, the other partner should do their best to support them and help them in their treatment. Show them that you love them, care for them be there for them and most importantly talk to each other.

If you can, take a break from trying to conceive, the mental and physical break can reduce any stresses and may help you conceive in the long term. Getting away with your partner will also remind you how brilliant your relationship and your partner is, which can sometimes be forgotten.

Take time to explore the options available to you and the chances are that in time, you will become pregnant.


[1]. Trouble Conceiving? Baby Centre, [Accessed May 2019]

[2]. How long should we try to get pregnant before seeing our GP? Baby Centre, July 2018

[3]. Tips for a healthy pre-pregnancy diet, Tommy's, June 2018

[4]. Infertility and your relationship, Healthy Women, [Accessed May 2019]